Aug 01 2008

What’s Happening?

Published by at 12:25 pm under Change life/habits/thoughts/beliefs

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What’s Happening?

A few days ago, my business partner and I attended a local Word on the Street Festival as we have a small business helping writers to self-publish their books (http://www.petnyaa-self-publishing.com/). Our booth was quite a long way from the parking area and there were no trolleys available, so we carried all our books and supplies ourselves.

The following day, my arms were sore from the exertion plus my head and my body ached. But that wasn’t all I experienced.

For some reason, I also felt very ‘fragile.’ I was ultra-sensitive to everything going on around me – even to the point of not being able to stay in the same room while my daughter did some research on the computer. The sound of the mouse wheel aggravated me!

Doing any sort of computer work myself was out of the question as I couldn’t seem to focus on the screen.

Even reading my new Deepak Chopra book was out as I couldn’t get my brain around what I was reading so I opted to occupy the day by reading something a little lighter… in my bedroom of course.

When my daughter prepared to go shopping for groceries and asked me whether she should use cash or debit, I almost freaked out because I couldn’t make a decision. I simply couldn’t. And that’s not like me!

I can’t see how this has anything to do with carrying stuff, but I’m at a loss to understand what caused my feelings.

Perhaps it was something to do with a dream I had the previous night where I was working at the same place as a friend, but while he was out of the office on some sort of business, another guy came in to clean off the hard-drive on his computer and replace everything with a single new program. I was very protective and wanted certain things left on, although I understood that cleaning it was the right thing to do.

I tried to justify leaving some information on my friend’s computer – things I knew he had spent a lot of time learning and working on, but I don’t think I was successful. The computer guy just smiled as if to say, “You know this has to be done,” but never actually said a word. My dream ended before anything was actually done.

I don’t usually remember my dreams, but when I do, I KNOW it’s important so I recorded this one in my journal and gave it a lot of thought the next morning. I don’t know much about analyzing dreams, but I understand that everyone featured in a dream is usually some aspect of our self, but I couldn’t figure out what the message was.

It took a while, but a couple of hours after waking it occurred to me that my friend’s computer was really my own outdated internal hard-drive that needed to be wiped clean and one single program needed to be installed to run everything from a fresh, new perspective. My requests to retain information were simply my attempts to hang on to items in which I had a vested interest because I had invested a lot of time in acquring them and I didn’t want to give them up or lose them.

Well, whether that’s what it meant, or whether that’s something that needs to be done, or whether it WAS done the next day… I don’t know. All I know is that I had a VERY strange day.

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