Apr 01 2012

Jealousy Rears It’s Ugly Head

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Jealousy Rears Its Ugly Head…

Recently, I posted about life’s Ups and Downs. Since the majority of bloggers usually post about the Ups, I said I would share some of my Downs. My intention was to help you see that you’re not the only one going through a particular challenge. Sharing my own experiences (this one being jealousy) was my effort to show you that you’re not alone.

When it actually came time for me to write about my experiences, however, I felt very shy. I felt embarrassed about telling you that I’m as vulnerable as the next person. It’s one thing to share your shortcomings with a close friend… another thing entirely to admit them to the world :).

How could I blog about jealousy? How could I admit that I was jealous?

There was the possibility that I would be judged. Maybe I would be ridiculed for not ‘having it all together’. It’s ridiculous to expect anyone to be perfect, but actually telling strangers that I’m imperfect really made me think about what I was planning to do.

empowerment4u.comRegardless… here I am… taking my courage in both hands… ready to reveal my battle with JEALOUSY!

Jealousy is such an ugly emotion, don’t you think? It can eat us up from the inside. There’s nothing whatsoever to be gained by it but, more often than not, we’re not even aware of it.

There have been many occassions in my life when I’ve experienced jealousy about what others have and I don’t. I’ve had an on-again-off-again relationship with poverty consciousness for most of my life, so seeing others with material possessions that were totally beyond my means was sometimes difficult to accept… and jealousy was there.

I’ve also been challenged in the relationship department and remember how I felt when a friend, whose marriage failed about the same time as mine, very quickly found a new love. It was hard NOT to be jealous… especially since he was quite a ‘catch’, although I didn’t recognize the jealousy at the time. It’s only been in retrospect that I understood (and admitted) my feelings.

As I mentioned in my earlier post, I’ve been learning about myself for quite a while now. It’s been an ongoing task for the past 25 years, but the really serious part only began in the past 18 months. That’s when I started to learn new tools for recognizing what I didn’t like about myself and changing it. By improving my awareness of my thoughts and feelings, I can make the choice to change them.

My most recent bout with the green-eyed monster came upon me very unexpectedly. I was reading a Facebook post by a friend of mine who had just confirmed the next step in her retirement plans. Without even thinking about it, I found myself criticising it from every angle!

It wasn’t until I questioned my critical response, to what should have been a joyful sharing, that I became aware of the source… jealousy. Plain and simple… jealousy.

That green-eyed monster filled me. It didn’t feel good in the least. In fact, it was really yucky! Once I became aware of it, I couldn’t wait to use my tools to remove it from my energy field. Thank goodness for my tools! I was extremely grateful for all that I’ve learned through my Level 3 course at Mastering Alchemy.

I understand that you may not have this particular avenue available to you, but do not fear, there are other simple tools you can use to counter any jealousy in your own life.

One of my favourites, which I used extensively before taking the Mastering Alchemy courses, was Emotional Freedom Technique, or EFT. It’s such a simple tool and you can do it all on your own. You don’t need to see a practitioner. All that’s necessary is to understand a couple of preliminary pointers.

If you’re not familiar with EFT (or tapping as it’s sometimes called), there are more details in my earlier post about using EFT for self-empowerment. Also, I made a YouTube video that may be helpful. You can view it on my website http://www.anyaahredulla.com/emotional-freedom-technique-tapping.html where you’ll also find a link to a free instruction booklet.

The first thing you need to consider is the Set-Up Statement, which is repeated three times while tapping on the fleshy part of the side of your hand. This can be something as simple and straightforward as:

Even though I’m feeling jealous (add the circumstances if you wish such as “Mary’s new car” or “Bill’s fantastic new job”), I (deeply and completely) love and accept myself.

Many people have a difficult time saying they deeply love and accept themselves. It seems contradictory when you’re feeling less than loving and accepting. But remember, you are where you are. You cannot be anything other than what you are at this moment. Even if you judge  yourself as the worst person in the world, you need to recognize that you’re taking steps to be a better You!

Judging yourself will not improve you. Recognize you are attempting to change an aspect of yourself that you find less than desirable. That’s GOOD! You’re making an effort to remove the jealousy that you’re feeling, so accept that and love yourself for having the desire to make these changes.

After the Set-up Statement, you tap various points on the face and body. Again, my YouTube video will guide you. While you’re tapping, you should repeat a phrase that sums up the Jealousy (or whatever you’re tapping on). You can shorten the Set-up Statement to something like “I’m jealous” or something that feels appropriate.

You can’t do this wrong! So don’t worry about the actual words. Repeat the phrase and tap through all the points until the feeling of jealousy dissipates.I find it beneficial to get in touch with my feelings while doing the tapping by thinking about the situation and I’m always amazed at the changes that take place while I’m doing it.

If you go through the whole sequence, but find there are still remnants of jealousy, change the Set-up Statement to “Even though I still feel jealous, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” And go through the whole process again until you feel that it’s cleared.

One point I should make here: When tapping for a specific emotion or condition (you can use EFT for any emotional, mental or physical condition), I frequently have other thoughts come up about something else that I don’t like about myself or something related to the subject of my tapping. If this should happen to you, make a note when you’ve finished your sequence and tap on whatever came up. It may be another emotion connected to the current condition or some thought is triggered that you’d like to change.

While I was using my tools to remove the jealousy, I realized that I was feeling very lonely. I was jealous of the fact that my friend had a partner. I don’t have one and haven’t for many years, but even though I’m a very independent individual, there are times when it’s good to have someone to help out. I miss that sometimes. (Note to Self: Another subject to work on :).)

There’s something ultimately empowering about discovering areas that you wish to change (and changing them). You are the only one who can it. If you bump into jealsouy, I hope this sharing will help you and that you’ll find peace and empowerment by removing it from your life.

One response so far

One Response to “Jealousy Rears It’s Ugly Head”

  1. Carmonon 02 Feb 2014 at 2:30 pm

    I am not sure where you’re getting your information, but great topic.
    I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for fantastic information I was looking for this information for my mission.

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